so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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