Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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