everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
