Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
