A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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