i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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