She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
