Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
