I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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