He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i think my cat just said my name.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
