It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
