She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
