new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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