we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
