The police scanner is talking about you again....
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I need to sanitize my soul.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
