just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
