I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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