There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
