I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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