I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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