My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
