I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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