OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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