Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
