when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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