Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
