how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
