Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize