Your tits are I can't wait for
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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