I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I could make wine with my vomit
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
