he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize