I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
