i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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