I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
