HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Less talking, more tequila
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
