dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
