We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
His hands were made for my vagina.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
