I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
