does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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