haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
