Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Floor bacon is actually really good
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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