WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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