I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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