She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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