During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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