thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
