I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
