i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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