I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
