I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
