I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
