You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
