"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
