shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
