Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
