Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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