Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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