do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Did I show you my penis last night?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This baby is an asshole
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
