I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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