I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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